


PDA In The Workplace

by Emojimonty



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), The Office (US)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluffy, Steven Universe - Freeform, The Office, dunder mifflin, michael meetings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emojimonty/pseuds/Emojimonty
Summary: Connie is assigned to teach an office about the consequences of PDA. She needs to bring someone to evaluate her, and of course asks Steven. But this is not a normal office, and these two may or may not be PDA criminals...
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29
Collections: Connverse Fuel





	1. Chapter 1

“NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU, ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN- NO ONE ELSE, NO ONE ELSE CAN SPEAK THE WORDS ON YOUR LIPS-”

Connie and Steven were in the Dondai.

Connie was going into politics, and needed to be able to speak in public. So she had enrolled in a public speaking class. She was six weeks into an eight week programme, and was doing really well. The teacher of her class had chosen her as one of the pupils to start applying their skills to the real world.

••• Connie’s Class •••

“Okay so can the students whose names I called please come and speak with me after class. You all did great today well done!”

Most of the students filtered out of the room. Connie and three others were left in their seats. Their teacher called them over to her desk.

“You four are our top students,” Ms.Mavero began “I will be sending you all off to companies, to give presentations and gather information. I need you all to remember that this is a real job that your assigned company needed done. The best way to learn is through experience. Real experience. Do your best and try not to make any of your companies management hate you or me. You will need to bring someone with you, to report on how you are doing. It doesn’t matter who you pick, it can be your child for all I care, but they will have to write a report on how you did.”

Ms. Mavero let this information sink in before continuing.

“Right. You have been assigned a company and a subject. You will all have different jobs to do, but all of these jobs will be relevant to public speaking.

Connie Maheswaran, you have been assigned to a paper company called Dunder Mifflin, and you will be heading up to their Scranton branch to give three presentations about Public Displays Of Affection in the workplace. You will also need to gather information to see how this office does when it comes to PDA. The company needs this information for reasons that have not been disclosed. This booklet can tell you about the company and exactly what you have to address in your presentations. You will be staying in Scranton and observing how your presentations affect the employees for three days. I have also been asked to tell you that there is a documentary on the Scranton branch is currently being filmed, and you will most likely be on camera. You will also be asked to do a commentary on subjects that the camera crew will ask about.”

Connie nodded. She took her information booklet and walked out of the room, meeting Steven where he had parked his Dondai.

“Ready to go?” Steven asked cheerfully.

“Hey Steven…” Connie asked “could you help with an assignment I have?”

•••Back to the car ride to Scranton•••

“THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEEEEEUUOOHOUHUOH-”

Steven pulled into the gates of the building. 

As the final notes of the song that the two had been screaming faded out, Connie stared up at the building in from of them.

She opened the car door and stepped out. The nervous energy coming from her could have powered a city.

Then Steven took her hand.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Connie replied, smiling at him.

Steven wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her on the nose, eliciting a giggle from her.

Connie nuzzled her face into his shoulder before standing up straight and staring up at the office building. 

And she saw the blinds on one of the window moving and silently cursed herself.

She was giving a lecture on PDA to someone who had just witnessed her partaking in PDA. She would now have to be really good for anyone to take her seriously. They weren’t going to take a lesson from a hypocrite.

Connie held on tightly to Steven’s hand, and together they marched in through the glass doors.

•••••

Andy stepped away from the conference room window. 

‘Those people look happy,’ he thought, before leaving the room to return to his desk.

•••••

Connie and Steven stood outside the door to an office that had a sign that read “Dunder Mifflin”.

Connie has been staring at said door for four and a half minutes. She had no idea whether she was supposed to knock. This wasn’t a good start. 

Steven glances at her and, upon realising her dilemma, went ahead and opened the door. Connie smiled at him gratefully, and walked up to a desk with a sign that said “reception”.


	2. Into The Office

Connie stood in front of the reception, summoning all of her confidence. A nice looking lady with red hair smiled at her.

“Hello, welcome to Dunder Mifflin Scranton, what can I do for you?” the lady asked. She somehow kept smiling with every word.

Connie smiled back weakly.  
“Hi, I’m Connie Maheswaran here to do the PDA presentations and evaluations.”

“Oh okay! My name is Erin, I can tell you the things you need to know. But actually, before I do that I should probably tell Michael that you’re here,” the lady said, still smiling.

She pressed a button on the reception phone and a ringing sound came from a room next to the door through which Connie and Steven had entered the office. There were blinds on the glass walls of the room, however the fact that these blinds were open meant that the two could clearly see a man sitting, and sleeping at his desk. When Erin realised that the ringing phone on the very desk he was sleeping on would not wake the man up, she just smiled tiredly at Connie.

Erin then made her way over to the door to the glass office and knocked very loudly. This startled Michael enough for him to move slightly in his sleep. Which in turn caused him to fall off of the desk. 

Which woke him up.

"Uh sorry to wake you Michael, but the PDA talking person is here," Erin announced, quietly, to Michael.

She was still smiling.

Michael eventually strutted out of his office, and held out a hand each for Steven and Connie to shake. The two looked at each other in slight confusion before doing so.

"I am Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton," Michael announced. He applauded himself and looked at Steven and Connie as if they were also meant to clap. When they had finished, Connie cleared her throat.

"My name is Connie Maheswaran, and the is my... colleague Mr. Steven Universe. We are here to-" Connie was rudely interrupted by a red haired woman at the back of the office.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY HIS NAME WAS?" Yelled the woman.

"Nice- I didn't hear a word any of 'em said either," a very old-looking man whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear. The red-haired woman who had shouted the question gave him a confused look, before turning back to the people at reception.

Steven stepped forward slightly, still grasping Connie's hand tightly.

"My name is Steven Universe," he said, almost proudly. He then stepped backwards again as the entire office stared at him.

Meredith, the red-haired woman who had spoken up before, looked almost as if she was about to question this statement, but decided against doing so when she received a look from Connie. Connie decided to continue with what she had planned to say.

"As I was saying, we are here to evaluate this branch on PDA, and also to give some presentations about why PDA is acceptable in a working environment."

When Connie had finished her short speech, she looked around the room as if expecting someone to dispute this.

When no one said anything, Connie spoke again.  
"We will need some basic information for the evaluation bit- but would it be possible to conduct an interview with all of your employees?"

Connie glanced at Michael as she said the last part. He gave her a thumbs up, and gave Connie a list.

"Everyone who works in this office, all sixteen of us!" He said with a smile.

Connie was about to comment on the fact that she had been informed of seventeen people working in this office, when a sad-looking man entered the room from the other end of the office.

Michael groaned. He said "Toby no" and went over to push the sad-looking Toby out the door. Toby muttered something indistinguishable before letting Michael force his departure.

Connie blinked. This looked like it was about to be a long day.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Connie and Steven had been given the conference room to conduct the interviews. Connie needed to find out about everyone's relationships with everyone else which was turning out to be a tedious task.

The two had both learned the names of just about everyone in the office.

These were some... interesting characters, even by Beach City standards.

They had yet to interview every single person, but they were getting there. Only three to go: Dwight, Jim and Andy.

After that would be their time for lunch which would be followed by Connie's first presentation.

Steven stood in the doorway and politely asked for Dwight to enter for his turn. Steven then watched as Dwight put three ninja shurikens in the leather pockets hidden on his belt. Steven thought about stopping him, but figured that he could hold his own in a fight against a strange man and his ninja stars.

Steven sat back down in a chair beside Connie as Dwight came through the door to the conference room. The blinds on the windows that took up an entire wall of the room had not been drawn, as there seemed to be some shady characters in this workplace. The second shadiest- the shadiest by far being an old, old man named Creed- was now in the room with them and was eyeing them suspiciously. Connie was glad they had left the blinds open.

Dwight sat down opposite Steven and Connie. He nodded at them, as if telling them that he was willing to listen for a short amount of time.

Connie cleared her throat. "Right," she began "Let's get down to business. We are just here to find out your relationships in this office. We would also prefer to know about past relationships, but we understand if you are unable to speak about some things but please tell us as much as you can.

Dwight narrowed his eyes at the pair sitting across from him.

"Alright."

Connie handed Steven a pair of earplugs.

"Why-"  
"Don't let anyone corrupt your innocent brain Steven."

Steven put in the earplugs.

Connie listened to what Dwight said, wrote it down, and was very glad of her decision to protect her boyfriend from these words.

When Dwight was finished speaking, he slid a piece of paper with a list of names on it across the table. Connie picked it up and glanced at the names on the list, almost everyone in the office. She looked back up at Dwight in confusion as Steven read the list over her shoulder.

Dwight gave a tight smile. "A list of everyone who has done it in the office."

It took a moment for Connie to realise what the man said, but when she did she turned red and folded up the paper. She put the paper in her bag and ushered Dwight out the door. She had many things from that man and intended to avoid him at all costs.

She motioned for Steven to take out his earplugs, and he did so. Connie sighed, then smiled at him.

"Can you call..." Connie checked her list "Jim Halpert?"

Steven winked at her and gave her thumbs up and smile.

Steven stood in the doorway again.

"Can we have Jim in here please," he asked cheerfully.

^^^^^^^

Connie eventually had information about everyone. She had heard... strange things. She had also seen pictures of a cute baby called Cece. She had spent about ten minutes watching Steven cooing and awwing. Connie had found his adoration adorable, and so had let him get it out of his system.

If she was being perfectly honest, Connie thought that there was very few people in the office seemed to be in a healthy relationship, but she did not want to dwell on that.

Her and Steven were now on their well-earned lunch break. They had brought a classic jam bud picnic, consisting of strawberry jam, biscuits and a carton of durian juice for each of them.

They had decided to have their picnic on the bench at the back of the building, where no one was likely to bother them. 

There was a large amount of jam and biscuits, as this was to be their only meal between breakfast and the meal they planned to have at some sort of diner or restaurant on their way to their hotel.

Steven laid out the picnic, Connie took out two cartons of durian juice and the two of them sat down to eat. 

"This is nice," Connie sighed, beaming at her jam-bud. She rested her head on his shoulder, and Steven left a kiss on her forehead.

"We really have to do picnics more often," he said, running a hand through her hair "And really, just meeting at the weekend isn't that much, I miss my strawberry."

He shifted his position until he had one arm around Connie's waist, and with the other he reached for a biscuit. Connie sat up slightly, a hand also reaching for a biscuit.

They both had a biscuit, humming at the sweet taste. "Almost as sweet as you," Connie said, giggling. Steven kissed her on the nose, then put a blob of jam on her nose, laughing at her resulting pout.

Connie wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

"I love you so, so much," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I love you too," Steven responded, resting his chin on her head.

The two of them stayed like that until their lunch break ended.

^^^^^^

Pam was the office administrator. This meant that it was her job to take the old light fixture out to the bin behind the building. She had made her way over to the back of the building in time to watch the beginning of the jam-bud picnic. And she found it adorable.

Once she had put the light fixture in the large skip, she quickly made her way back up to the office and hoped she had not disturbed the two during their moment.

Once she was back in the office, she made her way over to Jim's desk.

"You'll never guess what I just saw," she exclaimed quietly "You know the ones who came for those PDA interview things?"

Jim nodded .

"They were cuddling and having a little picnic outside! It was adorable!"

Jim looked at the camera exasperatedly. "You know you ship people too much."

"You know you love it."

"That is very fair."

Dwight looked up from his desk suddenly, looking a lot like a meerkat.

"Would you say that they were partaking in Public Displays of Affection?" Dwight questioned suspiciously.

Pam and Jim looked at each other.

"Noooo......" Pam said carefully.

Dwight looked content with this, and went back to working.

^^^^^^^^

After the lunch break, it was time for Connie to give her first presentation.  
It was not going to be a big presentation today, they would only be breaching basic things. But Connie was still nervous. Her Public Speaking teacher would be seeing a recording of the presentations, and Steven had been given the task of giving a report on her performance.

Not only that, but these were grown people. And not the free-spirited Beach City citizens that Steven and Connie were used to from their childhood.

All of the employees gathered in the conference room, sitting down in the chairs that had been set up facing Connie, who stood next to a projector at the front of the room.

Everyone in the room looked at her expectantly.

Connie looked at Steven, who mimed breathing deeply. Together they took a deep breath in. Then Connie began.

"So, as I said this morning, I am here to give you a presentation on PDA in the workplace. From what I gathered from my interviews with all of you, this office is not completely sure of what they should be doing in regards of Public Displays of Affection. 

That or most of you could not care less. But there are consequences, which we will be going over tomorrow. Corporate recently updated their policies on PDA, so I do not blame you all for not knowing exactly what you should be doing. That is why I'm here to be fair. Anyway let's begin the presentation that I have here."

^^^^^^

The presentation was...not a complete disaster. Steven's innocence had remained mostly uncorrupted, only breached slightly by Kevin's questions after the presentation. That was the one part that had not gone so well. The questions.

^^^^^^

"So now that have finished the presentation, does anyone have any questions?"

Immediately Dwight raised his hand. Connie pointed at him.

"What is your relationship with that guy?"

Connie went slightly red at that point, before tilting her chin up.  
Steven had turned very human shade of pink.

Connie replied with a curt "I'm afraid that is none of your business."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH," cried Michael "Buuurrrrnnnn Dwight."

Dwight scowled.

Steven stared at Connie with stars in his eyes.

"Any other questions?" Connie asked hopefully.

A few hands went up around the room.

Connie pointed at Andy.  
"How old are you both?"

"I am sixteen years old, and he is seventeen. But that is irrelevant. More questions."

She then pointed at Kevin.  
"Is touching the butt allowed?"

"No Kevin, it is not."

"What about the boobs?"

"No Kevin."

"Okay, okay, I have a different question..."

"What is it?"

“Do you two fu-“

“OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH QUESTIONS, I THINK YOU ALL GET THE GIST- YOU CAN GO BACK TO WORK NOW.”

Connie practically glowed red, and Steven was very confused.

As the employees of the office filed out of the room, Steven aisles up near Connie, and tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around, still red faced, he asked:  
“What does that mean? You went all red.”

Connie blushed harder. As she walked past them, Angela said “Good innocent child,” which almost seemed to offend Steven. 

Once everyone had left the room, Connie took hold of Steven’s hand. “I think you need to ask your Dad the next time you ring him on the phone,” she said gently. She smiled at him softly, a red tint still in her cheeks. Steven’s cheeks mirrored her own, and the two went back to work.

^^^^^^^^^

The only work left for Connie to do was to see if the employees listened to the first presentation. Armed with a clipboard and pen, she had to write down any breaches of the rules on PDA.

Luckily, there was only about half an hour left in the work day, so no one acted up during that time. Connie only needed to report one incident, that involved Kelly and Ryan. Connie really was not sure if those two actually cared about each other or not, but it was none of her business and she did not intend on dwelling on this.

Connie and Steven finally got to head out for their meal, because really, some biscuits and jam are not enough lunch. 

They had seen an advertisement for a place called Alfredo's Pizza Café on the drive to the Dunder Mifflin office, and had decided to have some pizza there after work.

At five o'clock, the two had piled into the Dondai, turned up the radio and driven there. They had arrived there to find that there was no fish pizza, and were disappointed by that. But then they tasted the pizza, they felt better after that. Afterwards they went the nearest shopping centre for Scranton souvenirs. 

They arrived back at their hotel room with two keychains and a mug, all of which had the words “Scranton: The Electric City” emblazoned on them.

It was getting late, and they would be awakening early the next morning for another day of work, so the two decided to turn in for the night.

Connie had explained to Steven that her mother had specifically said: “You will get a room with two beds young lady.”

Luckily Connie knew how to find loopholes. They had bought a room with two beds, and had the receipt to prove it. They had also chosen a hotel that did not have a no-pet policy. Lion had been called, and had appeared, and so one of the beds was taken up just like that. Connie and Steven were free to cuddle, and no one could stop them. Not even Dr Priyanka Maheswaran herself.

(Well, technically she could, but she wasn’t going to bother driving that far)

Soon the two had changed into their pajamas, brushed their teeth and gotten into bed. Steven immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her shoulders and the back of her head. Connie smiled softly at his affectionate manner and leaned into his touch.

She turned around to face him and grinned. Steven ran his hands through her hair and sighed happily. He pulled Connie closer to him and kissed her softly, before nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. She smiled again and cuddled closer to him. They fell asleep curled up like this, Lion watching over them protectively from the other bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seriously took so long to write. I hope you all like this, I tried to make it as fluffy as possible. I’m not a good writer, but Im trying! Really, I hope you enjoy reading! The next chapter will be out in the next week or two, because I will be starting online classes for hours at a time next week, on top of the ridiculous amount of homework I already get so :D
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Emojimonty

**Author's Note:**

> So I have soooooo many ideas for thing because I’m binging The US Office! This is set around halfway through Steven’s road trip in their world, and around the start of season seven of The Office, because I like the characters that are around at this point. Thank you for reading! :D


End file.
